Must be the changing of the seasons.

Just generally sad, I don't know what it is, maybe its the changing of the seasons, maybe it's that people are building stronger relationships with the people around them, me not included, but I feel it's partially my fault that and I exclude myself from a lot of things, I feel like Im left stranded. I know it's no ones intent, I have a hard enough time telling people how I feel which makes it hard for me to express that I feel I may slightly be being pushed away. I don't know.

I have no real motivation most days to leave the house, I always say I am going to do something, but I never do and a lot of times I try to think of things to do, but nothing ever comes to mind. People seem to always be too preoccupied with their jobs and with school, and the ones who aren't and would be available just seem to want to drink and party, and most of you who know me know that I do not participate in such actions.

I recently found someone who doesn't drink or party and who is similar to me in a lot of ways the more we speak, and even though she stood me up for lunch one day by oversleeping for quite a few hours haha, I like hanging out with this person, we cooked food earlier this week, even though we're both terrible cooks and I probably made the driest vegan mac and cheese you'd ever eat andshe attempted to make vegan pumpkin spice cookies which ended up being a cake (which was still amazing i might add) and the original plan was to make food and watch the film 'Brick' but we ended up just talking for the whole night, about various different things it was a lot of fun. I hope we get more chances to hang out, but with her work/school schedule it seems like it may be tough.

I really don't mean to sound super depressed and I don't necessarily feel depressed, I just wish I was better at making connections with people. I can't wait for February though, punx house! Mick, Rachel, Cole, Tyeesha, and Myself, finding a house, and living in it.. I am so excited for this.. I wish it could happen tomorrow. I think it may pull me out of this temporary setback.